Area Government Physically Shifts Long Run Aggregate Supply Curve to the Right on Paper

WASHINGTON D.C.- After a taxing year of seeing production possibilities stagnate due to a lack of investment in both education and healthcare, our area government decided to physically shift the long run aggregate supply curve to the right on paper. “You know,” a local politician reportedly stated, “since the LRAS curve isn’t going anywhere and the production possibilities frontier has hardly shifted in the past 20 years. Our executive branch made a decision to pick up the LRAS curve and throw it to the other end of the AS/AD model as if it were a football. Touchdown!” According to our sources, economists feel as though this move by the government will bring about a new age of economic prosperity. “Forget about subsidizing education and increasing productivity by ensuring workers in America are healthy,” a leading local economist told our sources, “this move made with just a pencil and a piece of paper will revolutionize our economic system!” At press time government officials were frantically searching for an eraser to fix their problems after discovering that they had gone a little bit too far.

 

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Local Teen Freaks Out About Seeing Itsy Bitsy Spider While Camping

BANDERA, TX- Local teen Katie Awlton, 18, was reportedly seen totally freaking out when she saw a tiny spider near her campsite. According to our sources, while putting up her tent as the sun was setting in rural Texas, Awlton spotted a small spider measuring less than one centimeter in length. “I was like what the fuck! I mean a freaking spider? Near our campsite? In the middle of the woods? That’s fucking disgusting! I feel personally victimized.” Awlton reportedly remarked to her friend Tina Lawar who had joined her on the camping trip. Sources say that bugs are, in fact, rare occurrences in the wilderness, especially while camping. At press time, Awlton and Lawar were both freaking out as they heard a raccoon near their tent, another thing campers never expect to see in the wilderness, especially when they leave food out at night on the campsite.