Area Computer Science Teacher Slowly Becoming an Actual Computer

AUSTIN, TX- Giving instructions to students in a monotone, area computer science teacher Mrs. Platterson, 41, is reportedly slowing turning into an actual computer. According to sources, Mrs. Platterson’s mechanic walk and completely apathetic voice are signs of Patterson no longer identifying with the gender male or female, but instead with “computer”. “I’ve seen Mrs. Platterson walking out the building to her car a couple of times,” a student told a source, “and when she puts on her square aviator sunglasses I feel the impending doom of a robot takeover.” Sources note that teachers have seen a difference in Platterson’s habits as well. “Mrs. Platterson used to bring in homemade cookies for our teachers, but now she just brings in nine volt batteries on occasion.” At press time, Mrs. Platterson was reportedly seen trying to unsuccessfully push a USB stick labeled “cyborg” into her forearm, which further convinced students of her transitioning state.


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