Local Substitute Teacher Way Too Excited That Class Is Reading Pride and Prejudice

AUSTIN, TX- Sporting fancy blue crocs and a fuzzy green beanie, local substitute teacher Ms. Miles, 29, looked way too excited to discuss classic novel Pride and Prejudice with a class of second semester seniors. According to students in the class, within the first five minutes of discussion Mrs. Miles had already succeeded in telling her life story, including the parts where she reportedly had 10 adopted siblings and a strict German mother. Sources noted Ms. Miles’ big, silver hoops swinging to and fro as she speculated on possible lesbian relationships in the classic Pride and Prejudice. “That definitely didn’t happen in the movie,” local senior said, staring at Ms. Miles’ blue crocs with disdain. At press time Ms. Miles was reportedly asking students “Why you looking at me like I’m from another planet?” The rhetorical answer came a second later. “I’m just from Hong Kong.”